13 Apr 19

While clearing some disc space on my Mac today, I inadvertently came across pictures from a year ago. It’s really daunting how things change so quickly. Just looking at the thumbnail of some images, my heart wrenched. I think I felt that way because I was genuinely happy in those pictures; the smiles between two people, the way we laughed was real. None of those emotions were fabricated.

Sometimes fate deals us the wrong cards and there’s no way around. In a way, I was always going to go through my period of absolute tragedy, and I’m so blessed that I found out who’ll stick around when I’m at my worst. There’s not many, but I hold them in my hearts dearly. Now that I’m close to being myself again, I’m happy that I’m able to give back.

Some people never know how they scar you so badly, naming people ‘manipulative,’ that’s when I know I was never understood. My attitude nowadays is just to stay away from anyone else who even remotely tries to get close. Those who are closest to you hurt you the most.

I think I’m getting closer to understanding what it feels like to have no materialistic desires. And when you’ve no desire, you are truly able to chase other productive things.

I’ve finally rid myself of almost all demons and I’m proud to say, I have zero regrets. Lets hope I achieve something before my life ends.

10 Apr 19

I realized that I absorb the feelings of others quite well. Even when someone says they’re okay, I tend to know that they are not. But based off of my past experiences, I’ve learned never to probe.

I’ve been reading Walter Isaacson’s Steve Jobs autobiography. Really did not expect it to go the way it’s going. It’s brilliant. It’s a polar opposite of Shoe Dog in my opinion.

Been playing Basketball again, with inappropriate shoes. The Kobe ProTros are calling me out like the ring calling Sméagol now.